Focus on Looking Out

 

I love to play computer games with my mom when I'm home. Not the shooting games, but the point and click kind were you go around and figure stuff out. I'm usually the one on the controls. She always says, "stop looking on the ground, look up so I can see where we are and look at the pretty graphics". I noticed that when I was walking around here that I would always look at the ground to make sure that I would not trip on anything. I would forget to look up and around at my surroundings that are so beautiful and unique to Thailand. I had to remember to "look up". I changed this phrase to "look out" when we went to the Tiger Temple and climbed 1260 steps  I would Concentrate on each Step  (read More About the Tiger Temple here) . When I was becoming unmotivated and out of breath, I would Look out to the Town Below and the towns in the Distance. Each time I looked out, the View was Getting better and better and clearer and clearer. Once I got to the. top, I was awestruck with the view of the surrounding area 360. I could see it raining in a few cities and on the neighboring mountains. 

I found this to be a huge metaphor to how should I approach music therapy. Looking up to the temple represents myself looking up to where I could be or need to be. If I looked up for too long, my neck would start hurting. This relates to looking ahead to the future, but if I solely focus on the future, I would miss what is going on around me, like the accomplishments of myself and of my clients. Also if I spend too much time hoping I was better, I would never be satisfied with my work. I must be mindful of what can I do now (for more on mindfulness and meditation, click here). 

When climbing the stairs, I found myself looking down at my feet to avoid tripping. I see this as focusing on the details such as session planning, learning the music, and practicing for sessions. After climbing for a while, I learned how to look out of my peripheral vision to make sure that I did not trip, just like how I must trust my clinical skills in practicum to lead a session. There were times that I would have to look down because the stairs were so steep or slippery. At some points, I have to focus on the details when preparing sessions. I would have to work on a specific chord change, for example, in a song to make sure that it was perfect every time. It would be a poor use if my time if I did that for every chord change that I already know how to do. Finally, the most important piece, is looking out. Looking out is what gave me motivation to keep going even though I was tired, out of breath, sore, or just wanted to give up and climb back down. Looking out is equivalent to looking at what I have accomplished since I've started college, or how much my client has improved from his or her first session. Lastly, I found that everyone had different methods for climbing the mountain, just like we all have different ways of learning the same material. some people Learn by doing, by watching some others, some by reading, or a combination of all three.

I found all of the negativity that was coming from myself. No one else was deterring me from climbing the mountain. At the hardest parts I was saying to myself, "there's more stairs? I do not think I could do anymore". It's such a waste of energy to put myself down. It's no race to the top, we'll all get there eventually. It was important to take breaks and drink water, just like self care is important as a therapist. If I concentrate on what development level I should be at, I'll miss everything that is happening right now. In the future, I will remember to focus on looking out.